“I Hit a Nun with My Motorcycle”: Most Unusual Excuses for Missing Work

We’ve been struggling through a recession, and over the past year, many things have changed. One thing, however, remains the same: Employees will call in sick, and they will sometimes not really be sick. Yes, I’m talking about that unspeakable action: They will lie. CareerBuilder has just released 2009’s survey about the most unusual excuses for missing work, which included more than 4,700 workers and 3,100 employers. Turns out nearly one-third of the workers surveyed have called in sick to work when they were well at least once.

As in 2008’s most unusual sick excuses, this year’s list is spotted with strange animal injuries, other bouts with nature or pedestrians, and questionable friendships, as well many head-shakers, like “I accidentally hit a nun with my motorcycle.” In a new twist, however, this year’s survey results are reflective of the effect of our tough economic climate, as 28 percent of employers think more employees have been absent with fake excuses due to increased stress and burnout due to the recession.

Here are 2009’s Most Unusual Excuses for Missing Work:

1. No shoes, no shirt, no work:   I got sunburned at a nude beach and can’t wear clothes.
   
2. We’re not in Kansas anymore:  I woke up in Canada.
3. Scaly situation:  I got caught selling an alligator.
4. With friends like these… : My buddies locked me in the trunk of an abandoned car after a weekend of drinking.
5. Mom knows best:  My mom said I was not allowed to go to work today.
6. Stinging conclusion: A bee flew in my mouth.
7. Meh: I’m just not into it today.
8. Not hot: I have a headache from eating hot peppers.
9. Plant rage: A random person threw poison ivy in my face and now I have a rash.
10. Domestic bliss: I’m convinced my spouse is having an affair and I’m staying home to catch them.
11. Beach fun:  I was injured chasing a seagull.
    

“Longer hours and heavier workloads are common in the current economic climate and employers are becoming more flexible with their time off policies,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “Sixty-three percent of companies we surveyed said they let their team members use sick days for mental health days.  If you need time to recharge, your best bet is to be honest with your manager.”

Manager (Over)Reactions?

Managers, however, don’t always give employees the benefit of the doubt, which doesn’t exactly cultivate a culture of honesty and trust. But would you do the same?

• 29 percent of employers have checked up on an employee who called in sick
• Of those employers: 70 percent required a doctor’s note, 52 percent called the employee at home, 18 percent had another worker call the employee, and 17 percent drove by the employee’s place of residence
• 15 percent have fired a worker for missing work without a legitimate excuse
  

So… what are the real reasons workers missed work? (Hint: they have nothing to do with alligators or angry poison ivy-throwing):

• 31 percent needed to get to a doctor’s appointment
• 28 percent needed to relax
• 16 percent wanted to catch up on sleep
• 13 percent wanted to run personal errands
• 12 percent said it was work-related (they wanted to miss a meeting, give themselves some more time to work on a project or avoid the wrath of a boss, colleague or client)
• 10 percent wanted to catch up on housework, and another 10 percent wanted to spend time with family and friends
• But the biggest reason for missing work? About a third of workers (32 percent) just didn’t feel like going to work that day.

What are the most unusual excuses you’ve gotten via phone, text, e-mail, sky message, or carrier pigeon (or, as is the trend above, seagulls)?

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