Top HR Emails from Yours Truly in 2008

By Sourcing Seattle | December 29, 2008

I have been spending some time in retrospection as the year wraps up. I have compiled some of the top emails (by consensus) sent out this year.

To: SeattleStaff

Subject: Krups Coffee Maker is Working Again (for the love of everything holy don’t put ground coffee in the bean grinder)

I got the machine working again. Enjoy. Next person I catch putting ground coffee anywhere near the grinder will get a proverbial beat down. Thanks.

To: SeattleStaff

Subject: Visible Technologies Economic Stimulus Package

Visible Technologies is doing its patriotic duty in stimulating the economy through a policy of mass consumption. We will be doing our part by NOT returning our reusable silverware to its rightful spot in the kitchen. In doing so, we will force the Company to purchase more and more utensils thereby providing a much needed kickstart to our ailing economy. Thanks for doing your part!

PS – Return the silverware to the kitchen please.

To: SeattleStaff

Subject: Visible Tech Missed Connection – Banquet Swedish Meatballs Packaging for Recycling Bin

Dear Banquet Swedish Meatballs Packaging,

I feel empty inside without your packaging, don’t worry I accept you for who you are. I even clearly state that cardboard is welcome. I feel slighted that you turned to the dark side choosing the trash can over me. Haven’t I been vocal in my affections?

Truly yours,

The Recycling Bin in the Break Room

P.S. Your plastic tray is a number 1 in my book, and is welcome to join us!

To: SeattleStaff

Subject: Pizza in the Breakroom, only 1 day old!

Still, good (I think), I ate some myself.

To: Allstaff

Subject: Prevent the Destruction of the World

And recycle. There is now a recycling box for cans and cardboard in the employee break area. Please wash/shake out your cans in the sink and breakdown the cardboard boxes. I will be monitoring who does and does not recycle from my cubicle and I would like to remind you that non-recyclers are not a protected class of employees.

Thanks and have a good day!

Dan

PS My wife baked magic bars (they’re yummy) and they are on the break area table for those of you who recycle. Enjoy!

PPS I am being mildly facetious in my efforts to encourage recycling.

PPPS Not Really.

Dan Hall

Seattle Human Resources Manager