Sometimes I avoid writing a blog post because I feel I don’t yet have the answer to the question that originally inspired the writing of the post. Confused yet? I am.

But that’s a copout. We’re all sort of searching for answers or at least the smart ones are.

So here goes. For some time, I’ve heard from people I admire and respect that I am a leader. Flattered? Yes. Confused? Certainly. Because deep down I don’t really feel like a leader. I don’t have all the answers, my daily life is often chaotic and most of the time, I feel like a 16 year old in a big girl’s world. What if my decisions, recommendations or advice makes someone go off the proverbial cliff?

How do you grow into the role that people almost unanimously ascribe to you before you’re ready? I submit there are a few ways, you can decide which is right, which is wrong and which is just plain stupid:

1) Do nothing. I have, until recently, smiled demurely, downplayed my strengths and promoted those I thought (and still think) were more qualified than I to have a place in the spotlight: as an influencer, as a teacher, as a leader, as a winner. It is, certainly, the easiest way out of a path that is as comfortable as a baggy pair of pants that keep falling down (and seems as big). But it’s lazy. It’s lazy and it condemns one to a life of mediocrity at best and a boring, stagnant career at worst.

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Ah, communication. My major in college, the source of many debates, books, articles and yes blog posts. If we miscommunicate, arguments result, feelings are hurt and marriages, businesses and relationships fail. There’s a lot at stake within the boundaries of communication.

I apologize for yet ANOTHER John Mayer song title  (I don’t really. I love him.), but this one seemed apt. See, words can get jacked up by a lot of things and very often we miscommunicate what we really intend. But sometimes, we meet people who say EXACTLY what they’re feeling and mean every last word.

Usually, those people fall into the following categories: crazy, famous so no one tells them they’re crazy, too old to give a crap and smarter than anyone reading (or writing) this post. They often get a lot of grief for yelling and screaming and not sugar-coating their words. They don’t really fit in. And if there’s no medical reason for their over-honesty, they are often written off as bullies, saboteurs or worse. And heaven help us if that person is a woman.

My mom used to say “Just because you’re not yelling and screaming doesn’t mean you’re not saying hurtful things.” She was dead on right. While the yellers and screamers are mocked, punished, raked over the coals and slapped on the hand for uncouth and unseemly behavior; the wilier provacateurs tend to get off scot-free. This behavior, while just as abusive and harmful to workplace productivity (and meaningful conversation on ANY given topic), is overlooked, excused away or worse, ignored. And you guessed it, women do it more than men.

And while a yeller might raise more of a ruckus, a passive aggressive destructor can do even worse damage, effectively clearing the playing field, using a sweet voice and a trail of hurt feelings behind.

What’s up with that? Do you have someone in your life that is a passive-aggressive destructobot? How do you deal?

PS I’m a yeller. Just say what you need to say.

Someone mentioned recently that I shouldn’t focus on HR, because HR is…not long for this world. Instead, I was told to hone in on talent management. Interesting idea. It gets back to the dead horse I like to beat called “semantics”. Again, I will say that is DOES matter what you call something, even if in popular culture the phrases are used synonymously.

But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about whether or not he was right. There’s been much speculation about the state of HR, HR getting a seat at the table, whether recruiting is a part of HR, whether HR is a valid business function, whether HR is dead. . .you get the point.

So, to say that HR is not long for this world, or that we should cease to put any thought or marketing power behind it, is to say the least, an interesting concept.

Here are the things he could have meant:

1. HR as a term is dead. Maybe he meant that the terminology is going to change but that the basic functions of human resources will re-congeal (terminator 2 like) under a new banner, like talent management. This will blow for those with HR proudly emblazoned in their domain name. But I don’t think that’s what he meant. When business speak changes, the social web is quick to adapt and aside from a few domain name changes, this is hardly a bump in the marketing road.

2. Viewing Humans as Resources is dead. This is a popular theory in my head where I’ve been turning this phrase over and over since I heard it. This is the most likely scenario. So often we hear about the talent economy and how intangible assets and the knowledge worker are becoming a reality. More and more companies are realizing that their employees were never really “theirs” anyway and it’s not such a bad thing right? because it’s the talent they bring to the organization that moves it forward. Right. So managing talent maybe a better way (semantics or no) to look at the business of resources.

3. That the fundamental idea of work is changing and human resources (or anything that looks like it but is named differently) is simply not needed anymore. If people are changing jobs at a faster rate than ever before, is it worth it to pay the equivalent of 1/4 of their salary to find and hire them? If your employees see themselves not as “lifers” but as “consultants” who happen to be at your company for now, should you manage heavy, bureaucratic programs for them? I wonder what the answer is. If your employees are at your company to learn something and constribute something and move on, will you spend money on leadership training? Hmmmm. Maybe the entire function will queitly blend into its respective departments, putting hiring managers back in control of hiring and managing talent. Maybe not.

Regardless of the answer (for my money it’s number 2) it makes me wonder if we’re prepared for it. We write blog posts, have in-depth (sometimes heated) discussions, organize chats, attend webinars and continue to run a pretty bustling little economy here in the industry space. But are we slow dancing in a burning room?

Here is a link to a post that has been making the rounds. It basically dissects the gender makeup of some of the largest social networks and finds, save digg.com, that many of them are skewed toward women. (not a lot, like 60/40) Anyway, it’s being touted as “Who rules the social web?” and I wonder about that. I mean, I think countless studies have shown that women are naturally more social creatures than men (at least generally) so it stands to reason that women would jump at the chance to extend social influence faster, more efficiently and with a broader reach. The folks I see scratching their chins in consternation over social media/recruiting et al are ALWAYS men. Is the question “Who rules social media?” even a good one? I mean, women have always controlled social circles but only recently has that colluded with any sort of power to effect change.

I dunno, rambling I guess. Just curious if anyone else thought this was earth shattering news or if the infographic was what was getting people all hot and bothered.

http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/2009/who-rules-the-social-web/

(PS: this comes shortly after reading and watching The Duchess, about the Duchess of Devonshire, a women who held oodles of social influence in her hands and sway and was in essence powerless in society. Fascinating.)

It is a running joke between my husband and me, that I am incapable of answering “I don’t know” to any question posed to me. Even if I clearly do NOT know, I will guess, or make up a theory, or at least try to come up with an answer. It irritates him (and likely other people who don’t love me enough to say that I am irritating them) because sometimes people ask a question simply so they can tell you the answer. Or maybe to move along a story, or to clarify a point. But, in my adult time on this earth, I have learned that people rarely want to wait around for you to sit and think and dig around in the root of the words to see if you can figure the puzzle out witout their help.

I just got back from Vegas. I was there for the Kennedy Recruiting Conference, a girls week (I have loads of sisters) and to film an episode of Galavanting. Yeah, that’s a lot for four days right? So it might seem a bit odd to talk about consistency and follow-through after leaving a city where marriages can start (and end) in the blink of an eye.

But I am. See during this trip, my BlackBerry broke, my MacBook cord disappeared and I was more tired that I remember being in a long time.

Okay, I know that usually I am your cheerleader. Usually, I try to slowly but surely get you to see the future and your place there. But today, dear company, I am tired. Today, I want you to grow a pair. The fact of the matter is, you are quickly losing your relevance. And it’s not for any good reason at all! It’s because you think social media is too:

trivial
cheap
easy
young
faddish

Wow, what a week! Sorry for the lack of posts from last week but there was much to do and only the typical seven days in which to do it. First up, you’ll have to head on over to Galavanting.tv to see the Taos, NM episode where we ride Harleys, hang out in a hot air balloon and meet Dennis Hopper.

(I’m so excited I have finally been around recruiting and HR long enough to say…)

I remember when Visual CV made it’s pitch at ERE Spring last year. None of us knew the economy would soon be in the crapper and while there were lots of questions at the presentation, most felt the product was cool but a bit of a vanity tool. When I came back and mentioned tools like Visual CV and its counterparts to local HR Practitioners, I almost got tarred and feathered. The main concern was discrimination.

I had breakfast with a very smart person this morning. Eventually, the conversation wound around to conferences, and some good and bad experiences the two of us have had, as participants, as audience members and as speakers. We started discussing our ideal conference and what it would look like and it took us down some interesting paths.

But first some things I LOVE about conferences:

- the ability to connect face to face

- the opportunity to learn new and exciting things

- the free stuff

- the free food

- the camraderie

- the networking opportunities

- the glam locations (sometimes)

- the amazing dedication and organization it takes to pull something that big and involved off

Hmmm, what’s missing from this list? I feel like some pretty important things such as “innovation” and “intimacy”. Here’s what I HATE about conferences:

- there’s never enough time to talk

- while the opportunity is there to learn new things, often those things are not highlighted in the sessions, but outside, over smoke breaks and in impromptu get togethers

- conversation is not encouraged in any meaningful way

- we never turn off our gadgets and engage

As my  friend and I discussed these things, we realized that this is not necessarily the fault of the conference organizers, nor has it always been the problem. For years, conferences and expos were the places to learn new stuff, attract all kinds of business and hear from the leaders in your field. Now with the leaders in my field doing webinars every single day, white papers on industry trends being published hourly and exponential amounts of information available in increasingly attractive packaging, what can conferences give me? What will make me pay hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars and fly halfway across the country? Some ideas:

-Encourage discussion. Folks lined up against a wall may promote blogging but it doesn’t promote conversation. Conversation is winning out online and if conferences want to stay in the game, they need to follow suit. Round tables, networking sessions or (gassp!) what about an idea that’s never been tried before?

- Promote Intimacy- Cue inappropriate 7th grade giggles. Ya done? Great. Intimacy is necessary for CONTEXT. How can I know where you’re coming from unless I know where you are COMING from? As social media, increased portability and a thousand other factors shrink the globe, people expect more when they show up somewhere!  One speaker telling his/her story every hour? Uh-uh, try leading a discussion, asking interesting questions and drawing people out. How about something that sets folks out of their comfort zone from the moment they begin? Why do you suppose unconferences are so popular? Because anyone who thinks they have something valuable to share DOES share and folks from all different disciplines learn something valuable they can apply to their process.

- Throw away the speaker handbook- How do you find speakers? Do you find yourself hearing that so-and-so was great at thus and such conference and so you book em? How about this person just wrote a book so they must be a good speaker? Or, this person has an incredible blog so they must be a good speaker. You know where that gets you? A whole lot of speakers that look alike and talk alike and have little practical experience. Or conversely the industry superstar, who’s SO busy doing he/she thinks all they have to do is show you his/her roadmap. It’s deeper than that. Conference organizers should look at their speakers with the same scrutiny as sponsors look at conferences.

-Accountability from conference GOERS- For months, friends of mine from all over the country (many who don’t even know each other) have been talking about a retreat where we get intimate, get comfortable, turn off the BlackBerries and  really dive into what we want for the future. Why has no one done it? Because in the world of conferences, step 1 is you get the idea, step 2 is you find some big fat company to pay for it. If the first step is changing the way a conference looks, then the we must be willing to go out on a limb for that. If that means subsidizing what you think a conference ought to look like, then maybe that’s how change occurs.

-Enough with the celebs- Okay so it was sort of exciting to ask Kevin Costner a question via live video and I will deny I ever wrote this post if SHRM has John Mayer keynote BUT celebrities don’t do our job. If we’re honest, they don’t care. So (SHRM) stop giving them the spotlight. I’ve seen more talented people in this business than I don’t know what, so don’t tell me you can’t find someone dynamic, innovative, wise, beautiful, funny, smart, exhilirating, ____________ to keynote your conference. If you can’t call me. I have a list of names of people who would love to do it AND knock it out of the park.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE conferences. They are tremendous opportunities for people new to the industry and offer a unique snapshot that webinars, videos and blogs can’t capture. However, maybe we need to change it up just a little. Maybe what worked ten years ago, isn’t going to work forever. Maybe, unlike so many other industries, we could swallow this pill and start changing now instead of when we’ve become so irrelevant there is nothing pulling us back from the brink. Okay so maybe that’s a bit dramatic. But unless fresh water flows in and out of a cistern, the water becomes stagnant and sometimes poisonous. And I wouldn’t want that to happen to my beloved conferences. They’re way too much fun!

Education has always been a bit of troublesome spot for me. None of my grandparents had their degree and so my parents were all very insistent that I get mine and they get about three apiece of their own. Between my folks, there are whole lotta letters trailing after their names. My mother is STILL in school, pursuing her doctorate…again.