I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, and I don’t want to hear any bitching about being a day late with that remark.

Are we clear?

I don’t know about you, but if I can’t get my fat ass off the couch on a random Tuesday in August, I’m not going to suddenly become Ms. Inspired & Changed for the Better on January 1st.

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Companies suck sometimes.  Take a gander at the latest reader question:

My son works for a large company that diligently avoids written policies and procedures. They say that when they require you to work on a holiday, you can get an alternative day off, but they make it damn difficult to do that. They also make it difficult to take all your vacation days. Therefore, without fail, my son has lost both vacation days and “make up” days for holidays worked.

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I kicked the crap out of my first Certified Employee Benefits Specialist exam today.  Group Health Plan Design: I OWN YOU.

I own you so much that I can tell my readers:

• It’s generally thought of as a bad thing when people who actually need insurance sign up for it; so much so that this concept is referred to as Adverse Selection.

• Your (stupid) Wellness Program only has to be HIPAA compliant if you offer incentives based on health status related factors.

• Insurance is similar to gambling, except that when gambling you actually have a chance of gaining something.

• People in these categories cost a lot more than their counterparts when it comes to dental insurance: older people, women, those in large metropolitan areas, those who make a decent salary & white collar workers.

• The Mental Health Parity Act has largely failed to accomplish it’s objectives because 87% of complying health plans evaded the spirit of the law by using day and visit limits to maintain unequal benefit levels for mental versus physical disorders.

YAY!

Group Benefits Management: You’re on notice as next in line.  I’ll be seeing you.

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The company I work for has a seasonal business.  Every year we hire lots new “talent” (and I use word in the loosest possible form!) for the season.

Lately, the Hiring Managers keep wanting to hire international applicants. I have no problem with that, we do it every year, but we use an outside program where all we have to do is let them know how many people we need, what departments, etc and then they do the interviewing, and assist the people (always students) to get their work visas (or whatever paperwork it is) and get them over here to work and all that jazz. It doesn’t cost us a dime.

So here is my problem, they keep wanting to just hire these random people they meet on their travels, or know for whatever reason.

I know we can’t just hire international applicants, it’s a detailed and expensive process, that is why we have an outside program to do it. HOWEVER, I cannot seem to explain this to them and they want me to “find out what has to be done” which I already know is nothing short of spending a ton of time and money on someone we don’t even know who will be here 2 or 3 months max.

So really, I am asking, how would you handle this? I really want to make a blanket announcement to these people explaining WHY we can’t just hire people from other countries off the cuff!  Any suggestions?

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You know when you see something on the news or in the paper about unemployment and they always add, “These statistics don’t include the unemployed people who have stopped looking for work” and you think to yourself, “who the heck STOPS LOOKING for work?”

Yeah, me too.

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I don’t know about you, but back in the day I worked in retail.  Yours truly has been a customer service schmuck at the following fine institutions:

• Musicland (aka Sam Goody, aka FYE, etc, etc, etc)
• KMart
• Barnes & Noble (no relation)

Musicland, in the mall, during Christmas, was unbelievably insane.  We had the weirdest customers on the planet:

• One man, when asked if he was a Washington resident (we’re close to Oregon where there is no sales tax), said “No!  I’m from Argentina!” (which I would bet $5 was not true).  My co-worker replied “Then I will TAX you!” with just as much flourish.  Then the man said, “You’re going to end up on my operating table!”  My co-worker and I were like, WTF?

• On Christmas Eve two gangsta girls got into a scuffle at the entrance to our store.  The manager and assistant manager physically pried them apart.  One screamed at the other, “You’re marked, BITCH!  You’re MARKED!!”  The entire store when silent.  The manager turned around to face the line of customers that wrapped around the store and said (whilst busting a move) “Tis the season to be a GANGSTA!”

I didn’t work at The Big K during the Christmas season, and I thank The Baby Jesus for that small favor, but I did have my share of scary customers regardless:

• One woman purchased half dead flowers that were supposed to be half off.  The system we used NEVER, EVER got prices right so of course it over charged her.  She returned to my line about 10 minutes later to tell me.  I apologized and pointed out to her where to obtain an adjustment (the customer service desk handled that stuff).  All of a sudden she started kicking my counter and screamed, “WHAT? I HAVE TO BE INCONVENIENCED BECAUSE OF YOUR ERROR??!!”  I just stared at her in horror and then she stormed off.  I heard her screaming at the customer service desk people and when I looked over, she was pointing at me with an accusing finger.

I worked at Barnes & Noble for an entire year.  That is a year of my life I will never get back.  No, really, if you’re going to work retail, a book store is not a bad choice.  While it was way better than Musicland or KMart, it too had it’s moments:

• I was carrying a large stack of books from the cash register area to the kid’s section (where I was assigned).  A woman stopped me and said, “Are you busy?”  I just looked at her.  This question happened all the time at Barnes & Noble for some reason, along with “Where is your copy machine?” and, “Can I get a library card here?”  But my favorite was, “Where is your non fiction section?”

• I was walking to the ladies room (with my coat on & purse in hand) after my shift and a customer literally stepped in front of me, put both of his hands out as if he was going to grab my arms and said, “You work here.  Where is….”  I promptly stepped around him and continued walking toward the bathroom.  I heard him huff and puff and “What the…!” to himself and just shook my head.  A few years later, when the movie Snatch came out, I was reminded of that moment when Brick Top said, “If you stop me again whilst I’m walking, I’ll cut your effing jacobs off.”

Since it’s almost Christmas, here is some more of Brick Top for your viewing pleasure (NSFW):

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Oh, dudes.  Can I just tell you that the *new* Americans with Disabilities Act Amendments Act of 2008 has me a wee bit worried?

Other bloggers have given this topic a nice go-over (see Daniel Schwartz’s take at CT Employment Law Blog as well as Michael Moore’s at PA Labor & Employment Blog), so I won’t repeat all of the details here.  But let’s take a look at a reader’s question about ADA in light of the new amendment, shall we?

I have a couple of medical issues (mental health wise) that have been affecting my job and relations with co-workers. I have been getting worse recently and even got a discplinary action form yesterday. I think a great deal of the problems could be prevented/corrected with some accomodation. Can you tell me, as an HR person, what you think of my accomodation requests below. Are they reasonable? Doable?

1. Time off work to go see a counselor

2. Able to listen to music or a radio at my desk to provide “white noise” and enhance ability to focus

3. Clear, consistent expectations, (perferably written) with deadlines about tasks outside of my normal everyday work assignments.

4. Bi-weekly meeting (or at least email check in) with supervisor to go over goals, problems, etc.

5. Either extension of work day by 30 minutes or some other accomodation so that several times a day I can check online news sources, weather, and personal email. (the last is to maintain contact with support networks and family who understand my issues)

What do you think?

Sorry to hear you are having troubles at work.

The first thing you want to consider is whether or not you actually have a disability under the ADA.  Check out the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s “The ADA: Your Employment Righs as an Individual With a Disability”. Pay special attention to the little box in the upper right corner that discusses the Amendment Act of 2008.

Let’s assume, for the purpose of this post, you do have a disability that is covered by the ADA and your employer is required to comply with this particular law.

Without knowing what the actual disability is, here is my opinion on your proposed requests for accommodation:

Time off work to go see a counselor – Absolutely reasonable.  Time off should only be paid if you have enough time accrued to cover it, however.

Able to listen to music or a radio at my desk to provide “white noise” and enhance ability to focus – Absolutely reasonable as long as it doesn’t significantly disrupt your coworkers.  If it does, moving your desk (assuming you work in an office) is reasonable as well.

Clear, consistent expectations, (perferably written) with deadlines about tasks outside of my normal everyday work assignments – Reasonable, but subjective in nature.  Your idea of clear & consistent may be different from your manager’s.  The details will need to be nailed down in order for this one to succeed.

Bi-weekly meeting (or at least email check in) with supervisor to go over goals, problems, etc – I’d say this is reasonable for employees who don’t need accommodation, let alone ones that do.

Either extension of work day by 30 minutes or some other accomodation so that several times a day I can check online news sources, weather, and personal email. (the last is to maintain contact with support networks and family who understand my issues) -  In my opinion, it’s not reasonable to ask your employer to pay you overtime so you can use their equipment to perform personal stuff.  When it comes to checking the news & weather, how does that accommodate your disability so you can perform the essential functions of your job?  Is there are reason due to your disability that you cannot keep in touch with your support network without working overtime?  Expect your employer to ask these questions.  Better yet, expect them to ask for documentation regarding your disability & “functional limitations” by a health care professional.

Best of luck & let us know how it goes.

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Remember me?  It’s the not-posting-lately-HR-Wench here.  I’ve got another reader question (I still have readers?!).  Here we go:

I read your blog daily after I discovered it through Alltop a few months ago. I was hoping you might have some input on this issue or maybe reach out to your readers to see what other companies do.

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Speaking of layoffs, here is the latest in the Ask HR Wench series:

I have worked for a company for over 20 years in the IT department. Recently our IT department was outsourced to a major IT sourcing company. Prior to the outsourcing our department was whittled down to a skeleton crew.

The outsourcing company held an information session with each employee including the managers. The result was the two managers and one of my junior peers were retained by the outsourcing company and assigned IT support roles. One of the managers is my manager. I wear many hats for the company in our IT department one of which is IT system support.

My manager is very smart but insecure. What I think happened is he talked up the junior colleague because he was concerned that my skills would over shadow his skills and he did not want to compete with me for a job.

My concern is that they kept the manager for a job that I have been doing all along. I was told I would be laid off. Basically they kept the manager and let me go. I am well respected by my manager and users. I have as much knowledge if not more than my manager and I am cheaper. So it does not make sense why they kept him considering budgetary constraints.

Is there any laws against manager protectionism and is this a common story?

It’s very possible that your manager had something to do with the fact that you are being laid off instead of absorbed by the outsourcer.  It’s also very possible that he didn’t, and the outsource company made the decision on their own according to how they felt you would or would not fit into their organization (skills or personality wise).

It’s possible that you are more expensive than your manager.  You never know.  Some individual contributors make a heck of a lot more than their managers due to technical aspects of the job, comissions or simply because they’ve been at a company that rewards tenure (instead of just performance) for a bazillion years.

Let’s say you make less than your manager and unbeknownst to the outsourcer have been carrying your manager’s weight for years.  Here is what you do: make sure your parting is amicable & professional and the hiring manager at the outsourcer has your number should he or she need any assistance in the transition or future.  Leave that door wide open as you go on your merry way to the unemployment line.

Actually, file online.  It’s much faster.

Anyways, let the outsourcer worry about the cost and quality of work they will get out of your manager.  If they realize down the line that they should have chosen you, they can call you up and make you an offer.  If not?  Water under the bridge.

My point is: don’t allow these types of things to live rent free in your head.  They will make you crazy & bitter and affect your interviewing with other companies.  A decision has been made and it’s done.  Time to move on.

As far as “manager protectionism” goes…there is no law that I know of that addresses this issue, unless we’re talking about a manager willfully and negligently breaking a law and then trying to cover it up.  For example, if your manager told the outsourcer that they shouldn’t hire you because you’re a terrible employee but was lying and only told them that because your Jewish and he is an anti-semite, THEN there is a legal issue.  Of course, you would have the burden of proof when it comes to taking him and/or the company to court.

I hear about employees that “carry” managers all the time.  It happens everywhere.  Sabotaging managers, psycho managers, micro managers, passive aggressive managers….the list goes on.  When companies outsource and the outsourcer doesn’t absorb all of the former staff, it always gets ugly.  Always.  It’s like your mom telling your sibling they are her favorite.  It sucks.

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I’m not going to blow smoke up your caboose.  It’s hard for me to be in a thankful mood this Thanksgiving.

Knowing that I’m a child of privilege, I’m reminding myself to shut up & stop feeling sorry for myself for at least a day.  So here are some things I’m thankful for:

• I can find something online, everyday, to make me laugh out loud.
• Gas is only $1.88 a gallon at my nearest service station.

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I have a guest post regarding a reader’s question about layoffs up at Business Pundit.  Go there now.  Or not.  No big whoop.

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Here’s the scoop … a recently hired employee has a disability that requires him to take pain medication. He did disclose this information during the interview process (we didn’t ask, he offered), however he made it sound like an “every now and then” situation.

After working for us for a couple of months, we have found that this was not a full disclosure by a long shot. (Shame on us for not asking more questions!) This employee suffers from a rare disease and is in constant pain. As a result, his medication list is extensive:

• Oxycontin opiate (five times, YES FIVE! throughout the day)
• Tylenol and ibuprofen alternating every other hour
• A seizure medication (used for pain in his case)
• A muscle relaxer

Obviously, these doses would probably impact anyone’s ability to do their job, but that is where the situation becomes even more unique. His position involves extensive physical labor for many hours a day (his schedule is a week on, a week off).  He also works with clients who may be tempted to access such potent medications.

We do an extensive pre-employment background check, but we don’t drug test. We’ll be implementing our own Drug Free Workplace policy in the future, I’m sure, but I digress.  We’ve found a temporary solution for distribution of his meds, rather than him having full Rx bottles on his person, so in this case we’ve eliminated the risk of a client accessing them.

The bigger question – can we let him go without being discriminatory? This is a condition that will not “get better” … he will always have this disease, and will always require medication. Additionally, I wonder how many other employees are taking meds at work, and can I ask for disclosure?

Not so much, believe it or not. Others have observed that he is in obvious pain (I am healthy and not on meds, and I would be in pain if I had to do his job!!). The feedback from his peers and trainers is that he was able to skate by, but they “predict” that he wouldn’t be able to make it for the long haul, day in and day out. The only other performance issue is not related to the meds … he made some racial comments, and has an obvious lack of cultural sensitivity. He was verbally reprimanded. The great news in all of this is that being a new hire, he is still in his Introductory Period and I am hoping there is sufficient evidence that he just doesn’t make the cut for permanent employment, therefore the meds won’t even need to play into the decision.

His own disclosure. He talked to his peers about this … he is very open about it, almost glorifying in my opinion. The word filtered through the grapevine to our on-staff health care professional, and then to me, HR.

Yes, however it is supremely minimal: blood pressure, heart rate, height, weight, just the basics.

Here are just a few more details that may or may not help state the case. These comments are from the employee’s hiring manager / supervisor, who is obviously pulling for him.

There are no concrete issues that have been seen with his medications affecting his ability to work. A lot of the employees who worked with him really like him and think that he will be very good at the job with some coaching around disclosure (he has over shared some personal info with clients once & he got really good feedback on that and has worked hard to get a handle on when it is appropriate to share and why).

I talked with him yesterday and (without me asking) he told me a bit more about his pain medication usage. He just began taking some of the meds he is on.  He went to a pain management doctor before he got onto some of the new ones and he had to do a lot of work there before he could try the new meds.  He has to be drug tested too so that he is not found to be abusing the meds.  There are some other things I’m sure he would share if we asked. I hope that we can be very objective in this decision.  I believe he is managing the meds ok and storing them properly while at work.  I think we should give him a chance, but I understand policies and safety too.

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How did it get to be almost the middle of November?  Working makes life a blur.  I don’t recommend it.

I’m used to being paid semi-montly or bi-weekly.  As a temp, I’m paid weekly.  It seems like this would be great, but it’s NOT.  It takes a whole new set of money management skills, a set I don’t have.
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Listen: I realize you are most likely homeless and significantly mentally ill.  I get that and I am sorry for your troubles.  But please, PLEASE, for the love of The Baby Jesus, stop crossing against the light on Wiedler Street – especially on weekday mornings at about 7:45-ish.  I don’t want to accidentally run over you.  That wouldn’t do either of us any good.

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Over at Cheezhead, the lovely Vanessa Dennis wrote a post about job seekers & their particular vunerability to identity theft.

As the economy heads to the crapper, this is an important post to share with your friends and loved ones who may soon be walking along unemployment row.

A startling quote from the post reads,

A criminal only needs just three out of fifteen key pieces of information to commit identity theft, including date of birth, address, passport numbers, and detailed references.

Yikes, people.

I say don’t even put your address on your resume (if you’re going to post it in a public place like Craigslist…or even a “recruiter only” resume database like Monster, Yahoo, Careerbuilder).  Name, email, phone number and call it good. Ok, maybe include city and state, but not street address.  Never put your date of birth, detailed references or numbers like social security/passport/license, etc. on your resume.  Doing so is asking for troubs, yo.

Be careful out there.

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