EQmentor
Managing Change Emotionally
I recently facilitated a session on Emotional Intelligence with a small group of CEOs of mid-size companies who are in growth mode. I was hired for the round-table session to help them appreciate the impact of change on their employees. Change Management is certainly not a new topic and there are dozens of very good books out there on the subject. I chose to discuss this from an EQ perspective and a personal perspective.
I started by asking this question: What was the worst thing anyone has ever done to you? I asked them to write this down and capture some words or phrases that described how they felt. Some folks had to go back to their childhood but just about everyone recalled fairly vividly this event in their lives. I asked the CEOs to share this with the group. Several key themes emerged from this simple 15 minute exercise.
First, no one was immune from such an experience. Second, the experiences varied broadly and something that might be considered trivial to someone might very well be very traumatic to another. And finally, what made the experience so hurtful was that at the time in occurred, there seemed to be few tools or skills or people or places around to help them process it. In other words, there was no change management.
#1 HR issue for 2011
I actually was going to write this morning about another subject until I read this article online this morning, which essentially reveals that 84% of those who are currently employed want to get new jobs in 2011. What??!!! I just published a book this past May where the research showed that number at about 45%—which was a huge alarm in itself—but 84%?
This should be a terrifying statistic for any manager or leader. If this is not the #1 Human Capital issue of 2011 (and potentially 2012), I can’t imagine what would be. I wrote about this a year ago, when the number was around 45% and warned of workplace burnout and fatigue. Keep in mind that those presently employed were not let go during the downsizing or right-sizing recession over the past two years. These were folks that organizations had decided to retain for their skills, local knowledge, and relationships. Eighty-four percent of these folks want to leave your organization.
I can throw out a laundry list of the consequences of this workplace reshuffling, but the greatest risk is the loss of intellectual capital that it takes an employee to acquire. How things get done in an organization, who to know, when to execute on certain tasks, what people need to hear, and the power of networks – all this is at risk of leaving your organizations.
EQ Exercise
Last week I spoke at a client event and asked the members of the audience to pair up for a ten minute conversation. I prefaced that quick activity with this comment, “People are never where they are, they are where they came from.” This confused the audience, which was by design. So what does it mean?
When we have a conversation with someone, we make the mistake of talking to the person we see right in front of us, as opposed to the person who came to that specific point in time in front of you from somewhere else. Just minutes prior to your conversation, that person could have had a really bad call/email/message. Or perhaps the negative event occurred the day before, or the week/month/year before.
Memory: The Enemy of High Performance
Last year, I posited that memory-based learning models simply do not work. A memory-based learning model is one where content is taught in a way that the learner then has to recall the information presented in order to apply the knowledge, invariably at some point in time after the learning event. Memory, of course, has been practically the only source of knowledge at the point of need. For example, when you really need to apply and execute on a task, you rely almost exclusively on your memory. In stress-free and emotionally safe environments and situations, memory works great. So it can’t be all that bad.
However, memory is fallible when stress levels and emotional temperatures of that situation rise. Physiologically speaking, during these times, the amygdala releases hormones in our body that entirely disable or partially disable our cognitive functions, the area of the brain where our memory exists. What I am saying is that our memories are not so much the enemy of learning, but the enemy of high performance.
High performance is performing at high levels most of the time, not just when things are going well. In fact, high performance is often attributed to great work in times of stress. This is a cornerstone of many leadership models as well. So my counsel this week is to take inventory of the tools, knowledge, and resources that you use to perform at a high level. Then, label which ones are in your memory and which you can access from someplace or someone else. Put a caution on the former list and figure out ways that you can access such information during times of stress. Your memory will actually be your enemy is these high stress times and your ability to execute tasks at a high levels of performance is greatly compromised.
Workplace Dynamics
A few months ago, I spoke to a client who was let go of her job. She was the CEO of a large product company and had only been in the role for less than two years. Under her watch, the company had lost its market share by about 30 percent to a competitor and also lost a third of its revenue. What happened?
A few months before she had come into office, a vendor had been collaborating with the company to build a technology (a chip) for one of their core products. When the technology was done (late 2007), the CIO and the executive team decided not to pursue it saying “they did not need it.” After all, they were doing very well, selling products and making money. The frustrated vendor went to the competitor and sold it to them. This happened, incidentally, right after my client—the new CEO—came on board.
A few months ago, after two years of losses, the company decided to purchase its competitor’s product—literally from a public store at the mall—and dissect it, only to learn that the technology they turned down (the chip) was in fact the one the competitor was using. The CEO wanted to hold accountable the people who were responsible for (1) turning away the technology, and (2) for taking so long to figure out the reason behind the losses. This seems like a classic business school case study, only it just happened and it is still unraveling.
Because the CEO was new and the “culprits” were incumbents, the CEO became the convenient scapegoat. The executive who made the decision to turn down the technology was just announced as the new CEO and his first order of business was to put a core team in place to help them get out of the slump. Who was on that core team of executives? All the same incumbents that created the situation.
What is the lesson here? I’d welcome your thoughts…
EQ and Fear
I have run into senior executives of organizations, and often times they are the very top ones, who have successfully used fear as a leadership tool to get their direct reports, and their organizations, “get results.” An example might be the CEO who publicly chastises his cabinet in front of each other, or puts someone on the spot, to takes a jab below the proverbial belt — knowing full well that the defenseless victim is too intimidated to either respond or fight back. I say “successfully used fear” because these leaders often created and exponentially grew the organizations they lead, and the results in revenue, growth, and profitability are often quite good.
I’ll let you determine the merits of this type of leadership style but what I’d like to discuss is why fear is such a powerful tool. First, it is the most powerful “chemical” in your body. Fear will almost always trump other emotions like love, anger, or joy. From a cognitive perspective, fear can either slow down or completely shut down rational thought, causing us to respond in a very instinctive (fight or flight) way. Fear is created when a threat is stimulated, whether real or perceived. What exactly is being threatened varies constantly within you (i.e., what is threatening to you today might not be tomorrow) and among people (i.e., what is threatening to one person might not be to another).
Talent War… Here it Comes (Again)
I have written about this before and even predicted this but the war for talent has begun. Granted, it is in its infancy and not yet in full swing, but I’ve talked to several recruiting firms and organizations who are beginning to look for talent to fill the void of massive layoffs. In addition, they are searching for meaningful ways to retain existing talent.
I’ve read several studies that are suggesting anywhere from 20 to 40% of high potential employees who presently have jobs are looking to change in another organization. Reasons vary from traditional ones like compensation, roles, and work/life balance, to unhappiness over how things were handled in the recession time period. Competing organizations with the help of recruiters have begun poaching each others’ talent, and as one recruiter shared with me last week, “they want the best of what is out there, and are really willing to pay top dollar for it.”
Creativity and EQ
A friend sent me a link to a NY Times article regarding the concept of CQ – the Creativity Quotient, and inquired about the relationship of EQ in CQ. What I have shared with clients and in my talks at conferences when it comes to innovation, especially workplace innovation, is that it is more about getting rid of barriers to innovation than it is necessarily being innovative.
Creativity, at its core, is a reflection of a deep sense of self-awareness. It is the notion that something is wrong with the present tool or process that makes for the desire to search for an alternative. Fear, which is the strongest of all of the basic core emotions, is the enemy of creativity. Workplaces are inherently a place of fear – our guards are up, we’re protective of what we say, who we say it to, especially when it comes to changing the status quo where someone, and in many cases, it is someone you actually know, may be responsible for that status quo- for creating it and sustaining it. There is additional “white noise” that we call carry that is an impediment to innovation. What happened at home, last week, the last time we tried to change something and failed, who is watching, etc. Managing this white noise, is a skill directly correlated to higher states of EQ.
Emotional Literacy
I had several interesting conversations last week with folks who are in leadership roles, both at profit and non-profit organizations. All are wonderfully competent human beings and well intentioned, most are challenged by their jobs, and some are very frustrated with the toll of the negativity of the lingering–but hopefully ending–recession.
It is somewhat ironic that economists, who are stereotypically tilted towards the left-brain, were the first to tell us 1) that a recession is mostly an emotional experience and 2) that the technical definitions of a recession are often too complex to decipher. I applaud the economists for continuing to state this fact.
EQ for Kids
This morning I saw a piece on CNN how a Michigan Middle School has successfully integrated EQ into their curriculum. Their argument was that most linear thinking, rooted in IQ, can either be done by machines or will be outsourced to cheaper labor forces across the world. Therefore, intelligence based on enhancing collaboration, innovation, social skills, and empathy is just as important as IQ, and perhaps more important.
This, as you can imagine, is music to my ears and what was melodic was the fact that they are starting so early, when adults in the workplace are still debating whether EQ even exists. I have two very young children and everyday, I make it a point to ask my son, Hunter (4) and daughter, Lexi (6) if they were “happy” or “sad” — and what happened to make them feel that way during the course of the day. I also ask them if there were others in their classes that were “happy or sad” trying to use very simple emotions to build empathy and recognition of behaviors associated with emotions. I often also asked them to make “sad” faces, “happy” faces, “fun” faces, “laughing” faces, etc… and it’s a pleasure watching them formulate their facial and non verbal expression of these emotions. All I am trying to do is to make them emotionally literate, as it is abundantly clear, we are an emotionally illiterate society and culture.
Millenials – Challenge Academia
This is the time of the year that college students and soon-to-be graduates are actively ‘hitting the pavement’ looking for internships and jobs. As an employer, I am deeply troubled by what I see coming out of most colleges and university. Here are specific issues I have:
- Most collegiate curricula has not changed over the past 30 years, whereas the professional workplace has changed dramatically.
- Academia requires you to major… with no focus on industry. Yet the real world cares about the industry focus with your major being secondary.
- Students are being taught by academics, many of whom have never worked in an industry or workplace.
As students and parents of students who are paying the equivalent of a modest home for a college degree, I believe it is time to challenge academia. You are a customer. It is the job of the service provider, the colleges and universities, to prepare you or your child for the workplace. If the content (curriculum) is outdated and in many cases irrelevant, the modality of learning is outdated, the people providing the services are outdated, how can you possibly expect yourself or your child to be ready for the changing 21st Century? You would never accept this kind of service from any other place. Outside your home, spending on your child’s college tuition is the second largest investment you will make. Why not demand more? Why not demand for:
Baby Boomers
This morning, I heard some alarming and troubling statistics; 16% of the baby boomer generation says they are ready for retirement and 43% say they have less than $10K saved for retirement. The recession has delayed the retirement plans of the average baby boomer by about 9 years. Two thirds of all health care costs are incurred after the age of 60 and health care costs/insurance is the #1 source of financial concern to retirees, despite medicare and medicaid.
Don’t worry – I am not getting into the health care debate here. Instead, I am putting on my Talent Management hat and asking, What is the impact of this to the workforce and workplace? We already have a good sense of how the workplace is evolving to more virtual and transient models almost entirely enabled by some form of technology. Studies have shown higher levels of discomfort by baby boomers with technology than younger generations for obvious reasons… the younger generations grew up with technology (Digitial Natives) as opposed the Digital Immigrants that the baby boomers are. The baby boomers also come with significantly higher overhead than youger employees and couple that with the desire of baby boomers to not want to work full-time …. all leads to following plausible conclusions:
Trigger Stimulants
The past few weeks I’ve discussed taking the emotional temperature of both ourselves and of others. Knowing the state of our emotions, which essentially drive our ability to use our skills and competencies, is critical since our emotions constantly change. I’ve discussed regulating those emotions with our self and with others. This week, I’d like to introduce you to trigger stimulants.
Trigger stimulants are emotional triggers that can stimulate and alter the state of both your own as well as others’ emotional state. We already use them… but the object is to use them proactively, especially when we need to. This is part of self-regulation and empathy on the EQ scale, and it is also part of just good awareness. We can use trigger stimulants daily in our conversations, meetings, activities, etc.
As an example, what if your child was upset about something and as their parent, you took them to their favorite restaurant to dilute their emotional state? Would this help? We don’t know for sure, but it certainly is the right thing to do and chances are high that it will indeed help even if its short-lived. Being at the favorite restaurant is a trigger stimulant – you know it will evoke a positive response.
Empathy – The Ultimate Goal
The past two weeks I’ve been talking about taking your emotional temperature and subsequently being able to regulate that emotional temperature so you can give yourself the highest chance of being at your best. Well, what about helping others be at their best, especially during challenging moments or times?
Many leadership and management schools of thought talk about this at length – helping others be at their best is, of course, a major leadership competency. Let me invite you to take an emotional perspective on this. Just as we discussed taking your emotional temperature, is it not possible to take someone else’s emotional temperature? Sure it is. Try it. At your next meeting, look at someone, anyone, in your presence. Based on their verbals and non-verbals, can you guesstimate their emotional temperature? Is it Low, Medium or High? Sure you can. You already do it.
For example, and for illustrative purposes I will exaggerate this, if the person in question is paying attention to you, asking questions, taking notes, and seems highly present and engaged, it’s safe to assume that their emotional temperature is in a very good state (Low) and that the meeting with them will likely be very productive. Conversely, if the person is not engaged, abrasive, not paying attention, or disengaged, then chances are that they will not be at their best. Having the ability to emotionally recognize the emotional state of others is what empathy is (similar to your own self-awareness).
Changing Your Emotional Temperature
Last week, I introduced the concept of taking one’s emotional temperature at a specific time each day to gauge where you are, what led you to this state, and how it may impact the rest of your day. So the next question is, now what? The next step is to change your emotional temperature.
Take this example, for instance. You have a meeting with your peers at 9AM this morning and there were some fireworks. You don’t feel good and the conflict is on your mind, but the rest of the day is packed with meetings and calls. How will you prevent your performance from being impacted by that 9AM meeting?
First, make no mistake; as smart as you are and as talented as you are, your body is already in an emotional hangover from that 9AM meeting. Yes, you can be functional and yes, you will put your game face on and try your best to ignore the impact of the 9AM meeting, but you will not be able to be at your best. Realizing this is key. At this point, it is OK to acknowledge you’re “emotionally hungover” to yourself.
